nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
