if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
