I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
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