This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Drunk is not a location!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
