what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
