He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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