Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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