Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
