how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
