When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
