it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
