Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
