New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
