i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
