so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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