Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
