He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
