butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
