Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
