There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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