Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
