Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
