your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you told grandpa to call you daddy
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
