Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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