...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
