I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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