the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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