Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
