Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she peed on how many people?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
