i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
