I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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