No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
