Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
