My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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