so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
