i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
