Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
