my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
