so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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