He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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