He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Shame - the story of my life.
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