elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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