I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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