Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
