you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
