I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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