to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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