My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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