i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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