You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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