Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
